Today is the anniversary of the passing of Frank Sinatra. Full disclosure, I’m a huge fan. I’ve been listening to his music for years. I love the songs. I love the voice. Most of all I love the attitude. In the early 60s Frank had an idea to make a film in Las Vegas so he and his friends could hang out and “play” when not shooting. Those performances at The Sands Hotel by Frank, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, and Joey Bishop were billed as “The Summit.” In fact, they never called themselves “The Rat Pack.” They called themselves “The Summit” and their times together, including those on stage at The Sands, their “summit meetings.”

Remembering those performances I see two important lessons for all of us. One, these men were extremely good at what they were doing. Their level of performance was high. Second, they appeared to gain extraordinary fulfillment from what they were doing. I think the audience was just lucky to be in the room, but they weren’t very necessary to the proceedings.

The message today is simple. We all have a “summit,” a place where high fulfillment and high performance intersect. The trick is to find where that is and get there. Anything less is a waste of raw material. They say that if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. I don’t know about that; even doing what we love requires some work. But if we love what we do, we are willing to dig in and work hard because the experience and the result are both incredibly satisfying.

So today, make yourself a drink, toast Frank and yourself, and step up to your summit! You owe to yourself and to the rest of us. What are you waiting for? As Frank sang, “The best is yet to come!”

At another meeting I listened as someone made an impassioned plea for the need for greater civility and a sense of connectedness in the workplace. At the break, I listened as she proceeded to tell a story in which she totally threw another individual (not present at the meeting) under the bus, perhaps damaging that person’s relationships with those listening to the story. Again, the contradiction between the nice words spoken earlier in the meeting and the behavior on the break, detracted from an important message and may have damaged her own brand more than the person about whom she was talking.

In both of these cases, the message was weakened by contradictory behavior caused by, I think, a lack of self-awareness. It’s a lack of self-awareness that weakens our impact as leaders. We may have a great vision and strategy, a great plan, or a great message; but, our lack of self-awareness will ensure we will find a way to unconsciously sabotage ourselves time and again. Until we engage in self-reflection that leads to a deeper awareness of who we are and what impact we want to have, we are risking that our bad habits and counterproductive words and actions will lead to unintended consequences.

And that is the key point. Our leadership must be intentional. Every decision. Every conversation. We need to be intentional in all our interactions; for everything we say and do as leaders is watched, listened to, and has an impact. That impact will either be by design or by default. To ensure we have the impact we want, we need to lead by design.

“Who remembers the presidential debate in 1992 at which President (GHW) Bush glanced at his watch? What happened? He was pilloried by the media for being detached, disinterested, and looking for the exits. He gave the appearance of not caring. Whether true or not, the visual hurt him and gave people looking for a reason to not support him to vote for the other guy.

A vital skill for leaders is the ability to “attend,” to be present and observant. Being present takes focus and discipline. We cannot truly observe what is happening around us if we are not present. We cannot see what we need to see or hear what we need to hear if we are not present. And for much of this meeting I saw many people not present.

If I’m checking my email, I’m not present. If I’m reading an SMS, I’m not present. You are the senior leaders of this company having a conversation about an important element of your strategy. You scheduled this meeting for this time. Right now, what is more important than this conversation?

This may seem like a small thing, like glancing at your watch during a presidential debate. And, never forget that everything we say and do as leaders communicates something about our priorities, our beliefs, and our values. If now is not a time you can be present to the team and this conversation, why was the meeting scheduled for this time? If there is someone out there who cannot make a decision without checking in with you first, what does that communicate about your leadership?

What shift do you want to make to be totally present to one another and to this important business conversation? Would you like to talk about these things for a while? Great! Turn off your phones.”

To drive the business forward and to develop our capacity to drive the business successfully, we need to attend to what we say and do and in what manner. Why? Because everything we say or do communicates something. This is a broad understanding of communication; and, it is important to our work as leaders to see this understanding as a starting point for how we go about the work of leadership. This mindset keeps us intentional regarding how we design and convene (read imagine and move) our business conversations.

All conversations (all leadership for that matter) should be should be designed with one aim in mind: enable high engagement to maximize positive impact. When we design our communication and conversations with this aim in mind, we minimize the likelihood that what we are saying, and how we are saying it, might create a barrier to engagement. A verbal or non-verbal miscommunication can have a serious, unintentionally negative impact. Without focused attention and intention, many times we say or do something that creates a barrier for an individual or team to engage and make the contribution we would want. It is our responsibility to create the conditions that enable people “to voluntarily give their best ( Arie de Geus).” How we communicate and design our conversations can have positive or negative impact on how people engage and contribute. Being mindful of this will carry us a long way.

Remaining mindful of the impact of our communication, and thereby, our conversations, invites a new approach to what we seek to accomplish and what we expect along the way. This more intentional leadership seeks to influence more than persuade or coerce. This mindset regarding leadership communication and conversation is akin to the highest value of medicine: First, do no harm.

As leaders we can underestimate the impact our words and actions have on the people around us. We continue to underestimate the power of our communications and the potential for them to trigger a counterproductive reaction for someone else at our peril. We need to pay more attention to what we communicate and how. Imagine if before we communicated anything we were to become clear about what we hope to achieve through our communication, what we want to communicate, and what we want the experience and message to be for the person or people with whom we are communicating. This attention to design raises the probability that our communication at the very least will do no harm and at the very best enable high engagement to maximize positive impact.

Accepting these axioms of business (1. Conversation is a core business process. 2. Everything a leader says or does is communication and has impact.) invites a new responsibility to first, do no harm; and second, enable high engagement to maximize positive impact. Accepting this responsibility means leading and communicating to keep others “in the game” and “on the field.” When we are in “the field” we are encouraging continual forward movement for the business and the people in it. When we are communicating from this place of awareness and intention we don’t become stuck in unproductive roles: victim or villain, winner or loser, good guy (hero) or bad guy. We are simply seeking to communicate a message in a way that enables engagement and the positive transformation of the business, the team, and the person.

Leadership is the same way. It is a path that never ends. You may get to celebrate successes along the way; but, the work of leadership is ongoing. There is always the next strategic objective. The team needs constant attention in order to keep engagement and performance at a high level. And if we what to provide strong leadership, we need to keep a learner’s mindset and to continually hone our skills as leaders.

A terrific leader I know said to me once early in our coaching relationship that he just wanted to get the team to the point where things would just run smoothly and he could flip on the autopilot. I had to break the bad news; there is no autopilot. Things are constantly in flux. Change is like the weather; it just exists.

I worked with another leader who used to tell his team, ”Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back.” It was his way of reminding everyone that we can celebrate successes along the way, but the work continues. There is always more to do to drive the business, grow the team, and sharpen the saw. When it comes to leadership, there is no autopilot.

The conversation last week came down to three things that I took as a call to action:

1. Strive to Maintain a Positive Outlook. Know where you want to go and have faith in your vision and your capacity to make it real. Without this, you’re done before you start.

2. Strive to Be Emotionally Real. Don’t hide from what you are experiencing as you work to lead others and accomplish your objectives. Stuff happens. You are affected by it. Allow yourself to experience it and (appropriately) express yourself with the people with whom you work.

3. Strive to Continually Build Competence. Don’t become complacent. Do what you need to do in order to keep a beginner’s mind, a learner’s attitude. As we move up in organizations we are rewarded for what we know and what we deliver. The paradox is that to continue delivering success, we cannot settle into a knower and doer mentality. Once we do, we are open to both self-sabotage and being out-played by someone who is still striving to develop and grow.

The powerful part of the conversation last week for me was the reminder that these three things are vitally interconnected. Striving in just one area leaves a gap that can hold us back and keep us from the results we desire and the experience we want and need to be successful. When we strive to do all three of these things, we can thrive personally and professionally.

As we cross from January into February and are a step closer to success or failure in 2012, let’s make a commitment to do the hard work of living and leadership and strive to thrive.

Cheers,

Greg

Today, let’s reflect on how Dr. King’s life and legacy inspire us and how we are carrying his legacy forward through our own words and deeds. What might we do to keep the dream alive and expand its promise to more and more people? We began to walk our talk with Martin Luther King all those years ago; we’ve still a long way to go.

All leaders face three realities; first, they cannot succeed without engaging others and convincing them to devote time, energy, and resources to the leader’s objectives. Second, leaders have no direct authority over most of the people they are attempting to engage and convince to follow. And third, even those people over whom leaders do have direct authority are less tolerant of a “command and control” way of being led.

In his book “How”, Dov Seidman writes, “The days of leading countries or companies via a one-way conversation are over. The old system of ‘command and control’- using carrots and sticks – to exert power over people is fast being replaced by ‘connect and collaborate’ – to generate power through people. Now you have to have a two-way conversation with your citizens or customers or employees.” Now leadership requires a capacity to engage others and influence how they direct their time, energy, and resources.

Influence is defined as “the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself.” Influence and leadership are connected. In our conversation about leadership, we have defined it as the capacity to impact and engage others in an important work that causes forward movement with positive effect. Leaders must be able to influence the character, development, and behavior of others. People respond to and engage with what satisfies their needs. People respond to leadership. Previously, I have cited Arie de Geus, author of “The Living Company,” who says that a primary role of leadership is to create the conditions in which people will “voluntarily give their best.” Leadership gets people to voluntarily give their best. People rarely give their best in a ‘command and control’ environment. Even if this was once the case, current events suggest that that world is slipping away.

The signs of leadership are Clarity of vision, mission, purpose, plan, metrics roles, etc., a positive Atmosphere, and Talent engaged and performing at a high level. When and where these conditions exist, peoples’ needs are being met by leadership. Seidman continues, “leadership itself must shift … from coercive or motivational leadership that uses sticks or carrots to extract performance and allegiance out of people to inspirational leadership that inspires commitment and innovation and hope in people.” When we create the conditions for success (Clarity, Atmosphere, and Talent), we are inspiring commitment and innovation and hope and making it possible for people to voluntarily give their best.

It is possible to lead in this way with without “authority.” What gives a person “authority” to provide leadership, to create the conditions for success? In short, nothing. Leaders see what is missing and work to fill the need, be it for clarity, a positive atmosphere, or talent development. This type of leadership is not given; it is claimed. This type of leadership is highly influential and is not based on “authority” or position.

Our ability to influence is tied directly to our level of trustworthiness. When we are recognized as sincere, reliable, competent, and concerned for others and something bigger than ourselves, we can wield tremendous influence. Our leadership is recognized and assessed on our ability to create clarity, shape a positive atmosphere, and develop talent in order to achieve business objectives. When we are leading in this way, we can be very influential and through our leadership enable people to self-motivate and “voluntarily give their best.” The result of this type of leadership and influence is alignment, engagement, and unified action. This type of influence enables us to “’connect and collaborate’ – to generate power through people.”

2012 Starting Point

The time is ripe to consider what you want to make real in the new year. Next New Year’s Eve, what do you want to celebrate? For what would you be extremely grateful 12 months from now? Having some awareness of what you would celebrate and be grateful for will provide you focus to “make it real.” This exercise will help create a “Manifesto” for the new year.

To begin this process, it is appropriate to take a look back to attend and reflect upon your experience and accomplishments in the year gone by. What you learn through this process will empower you to imagine your way forward and move to have the experience and achieve the results you want in the new year.

Find a quiet, distraction-free place to reflect upon each question. Give yourself ample time to consider each question carefully. It may be helpful to write your answers in a journal or on a piece of paper.

Step One (2011):
• What were the 10 most important challenges you faced in 2011?
• What were your 10 biggest accomplishments of 2011? (Things you did well, ways you’ve developed as a leader / person, goals you achieved, etc.)
• What about your attitude and behavior were instrumental in achieving your biggest accomplishment in 2011?
• What was your biggest disappointment in 2011 and what was your role in the situation?
• What were your top 10 sources of frustration / energy drains?
• What were your top 10 sources of happiness / energy producers?
• Who were the most important people in your life in 2011 and how have you let them know of the impact they had?
• Of the top three goals you were aiming for, how satisfied are you with the results you achieved?
• Of the top three goals you were aiming for, how satisfied are you with how you achieved them?
• What is the biggest lesson you have learned in 2011?

Step Two (2012):
• What business results to you want to celebrate?
• What leadership experience do you want to celebrate?
• What career position or advancement do you want to celebrate?
• What personal finance accomplishment do you want to celebrate?
• What health and fitness accomplishment do you want to celebrate?
• What spiritual experience or commitment do you want to celebrate?
• What travel and leisure experience do you want to celebrate?
• What family experience do you want to celebrate?
• What personal relationship experience do you want to celebrate?
• What successes of others (family members or close friends) do you want to celebrate?

Step Three:
Generate a Manifesto that simply articulates what you want in 2012. This will be a regular reminder of what you want to make real in the new year. Here’s a sample Manifesto:
Manifesto Sample

31 December 2012

I am very grateful that:

• My team achieved our major objectives including revenue targets.
• I was recognized for my leadership, specifically my ability to collaborate and work across boundaries.
• I was promoted to CEO.
• Our retirement portfolio increased by 25%.
• We donated more time and resources to our favorite charity this year.
• I lost 20 pounds and kept them off.
• I completed a marathon.
• I devoted regular time to my spiritual practice.
• Our family had a marvelous holiday in Australia.
• Our family is happy and healthy.
• My partner and I have a strong relationship.
• My son got into his first choice university.

Have fun with the process. Be bold! The barriers to our success in our mind. The ability to overcome them begins with leadership. You are always at the starting point. Ready, set, GO!

Follow me at Twitter: (@greggiuliano)

Here’s to a 2012 filled with ease, simplicity, prosperity, and fun!

Cheers,
Greg

I pressed on. “What if ‘no’ doesn’t mean ’no’?, I said. What if ‘no’ means ‘I don’t get what you’re talking about.’ or ‘What you’re proposing scares me.’ or ‘I don’t want to do that.’?”

There are three points I wanted him (and us) to reflect on. One, resistance isn’t necessarily a dead end to your idea. It simply means that you may need to rethink your strategy for securing buy-in and find another way to get it. If we stop to think about it, “no” doesn’t mean “no”; it means, “not this way.”

Two, using inquiry before advocacy is always a smart strategy for engaging others. As soon as we advocate for a position (or idea), the other person is voting – Do I agree or disagree? Using inquiry to open the conversation provides the opportunity to bring your option or idea into the conversation so that it meets with less resistance. You are inviting collaboration and that’s almost always a good idea.

Three, we can’t change others. If our tactic for securing buy-in isn’t working, complaining about it and being upset that we got shot down gets us nowhere. We need to change the only person we can – ourselves.

The final question we explored together was, “What shift to your relationship and communication strategy and/or your personal style will enable you to engage others and introduce your ideas in a way that reduces resistance and invites high acceptance and buy-in?” Some great ideas began to flow into our conversation. In the end it became clear that if my executive friend wants a different outcome, he can’t expect others to change. That’s up to him.